I am enamored.

So this is the part where I try really, really hard not to get my hopes up. 'Cause it's so hard to do when someone like ___ comes into your life.

We just had our first date, I barely know him, but I can tell he's more special than anyone I've met in a long time.
Cam counts as an incredibly special person, but this guy would definitely be more right for me- He doesn't have that cocky, alpha male charisma that I always go for. And I'm so much better off without it, I'm finally beginning to realize. I thought it was my type, but it's obnoxious. Being interested in someone without that is different, but it feels much, much better.

It's actually kind of funny, because I would have expected this guy to be like that type, since he has a presence, and he's so smart and talented. But he's not at all.
He wasn't being all sweet just to charm me, It was genuine. It felt really good. It had been a long time since I got, (or gave out) genuine affection, instead of just sexual attention. I forgot how good it feels, and how much I want that. I felt really connected to him.
He wouldn't have even slept with me if I had asked him to.
He's a good person. I don't know if I even deserve to be hanging out with him.

It's really ridiculous too because that other guy that I was waiting on finally "stopped being a pussy" and called me, actually when I was still with ___ last night. I didn't hear it, so I didn't talk to him at the time, but I did notice while we were still together.
It's hard to think about right this second, but I'm glad for two reasons- because I thought he seemed like a really awesome guy, and because it will definitely help me not get my hopes too set on ___.
It freaks me out a little bit though, because they probably know each other. I do not like that. ___ is so freaking sweet, and special, I already care about not fucking it up.