Lately when I get frustrated with guys, and lonely, I think about all the perfectly good ones I've thrown away without a second thought. Especially in Olympia, there were so many of them. Lots of losers as well, but some pretty good guys.
I know I'd just get bored with them again, but compared to 97% of the guys I've met in the year I've been back here, I'd feel super lucky just to have one or two of them around to hang out with.
In fact, every single guy I've met during this time, other than two of them, have been a complete and total waste of time. And those two are very far away.
God, you've gotta love the timing.. I've got the tv on in the background, and I still cringe every time I hear the word Beijing. I really miss Cam.
This is all totally my fault, for hanging around here so long. I just don't know where to go next.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
10/25/2008
guys are so weird.
it can't be good if i'm the sane one.
more and more often i wonder why i even bother. the guys in this county are so pathetic.
i'd be tempted to throw my shit in the car, and move down to north carolina if it weren't so lame. or at least i imagine i would find it lame.
not that i'd be wanted there.
this one brought out the sadist in me. i had forgotten it was there. he loved it.
i need a shower
it can't be good if i'm the sane one.
more and more often i wonder why i even bother. the guys in this county are so pathetic.
i'd be tempted to throw my shit in the car, and move down to north carolina if it weren't so lame. or at least i imagine i would find it lame.
not that i'd be wanted there.
this one brought out the sadist in me. i had forgotten it was there. he loved it.
i need a shower
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
10/14/2008
Worcester is magical.
Most, (if not all) of the places I used to go are gone, but the Palladium is still there. Filled with over 10 years of fantastic memories.
The Palladium is magical.
Speaking of which, I can't wait for Sasha to get to town. My New York Dana. My good luck charm. I figure she must be- her car has taken me to a sleeping giant, and a 7-11 in China.
-To a cocky man, and a cocky boy, but I wouldn't trade those rides for anything.
Who knows where it will take me next....
Most, (if not all) of the places I used to go are gone, but the Palladium is still there. Filled with over 10 years of fantastic memories.
The Palladium is magical.
Speaking of which, I can't wait for Sasha to get to town. My New York Dana. My good luck charm. I figure she must be- her car has taken me to a sleeping giant, and a 7-11 in China.
-To a cocky man, and a cocky boy, but I wouldn't trade those rides for anything.
Who knows where it will take me next....
10/5/2008
Chappaqua Murders
Only the rarest, and dumbest of murders take place in this little bubble.
No matter how many men murder their wives, we're still the safest little town.
Only the rarest, and dumbest of murders take place in this little bubble.
No matter how many men murder their wives, we're still the safest little town.
10/2/2008
I feel better today.. Who knows why...probably because I don't have a choice. I spent a few days in my pajamas eating pasta, (helped by the fact that I had a couple of days off of work), and now I'm ready to get back to business.
I'm gonna be 24 in a couple of days, I need to stop wasting my life. I'm in my prime. I can't keep wasting away here. It's pathetic. It's sucking the life out of me. It makes me feel terrible about myself.
This is not what I want for myself, and I don't want to pile up any more regrets.
I have enough.
I'm gonna be 24 in a couple of days, I need to stop wasting my life. I'm in my prime. I can't keep wasting away here. It's pathetic. It's sucking the life out of me. It makes me feel terrible about myself.
This is not what I want for myself, and I don't want to pile up any more regrets.
I have enough.
9/2008
the synthetic family
made of vitamins and microwaves
computer chips
inter nets
treadmills
big tvs
money
i pod and cell phone parts
we get our sunlight from supplements
we're man made men
made of vitamins and microwaves
computer chips
inter nets
treadmills
big tvs
money
i pod and cell phone parts
we get our sunlight from supplements
we're man made men
9/13/2008
solitary, and subtly, or not so subtly (self) destructive.
leaving no marks or scars, but nonetheless you can see it when you look at me, or look at my empty life.
leaving no marks or scars, but nonetheless you can see it when you look at me, or look at my empty life.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
10/8/2008
I have so many adventures in my dreams.
In the last couple of weeks alone, I must have been to at least a dozen different countries.
Marveling, taking photos.. planes, cars, boats, rafts.
Algeria, Armenia, China, Romania, Guam, Russia, Portugal...
I want it to be real.
In the last couple of weeks alone, I must have been to at least a dozen different countries.
Marveling, taking photos.. planes, cars, boats, rafts.
Algeria, Armenia, China, Romania, Guam, Russia, Portugal...
I want it to be real.
10/10/2008
My body is the image of my depression. Of my state of being.
It is certainly not all bad, but it's pretty worn and warped in it's ways.
I still think I'm rather pretty -beautiful even- sometimes..but I'm terrified of what I'm doing to my health, my body, with my lifestyle. My depression. My lack of self control. ..the way I sleep, eat, drink... It's not good for me. At all.
It is certainly not all bad, but it's pretty worn and warped in it's ways.
I still think I'm rather pretty -beautiful even- sometimes..but I'm terrified of what I'm doing to my health, my body, with my lifestyle. My depression. My lack of self control. ..the way I sleep, eat, drink... It's not good for me. At all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)