Monday, January 10, 2011

hypocrite back

I don't know if I've ever admitted to it, but I think I always have, in a way, expected a guy to come along and save me. I've always had fairy tale like delusions that I couldn't quite shake.
I know that thoughts like that are unhealthy, unrealistic, unattractive, and a detriment to my attempts to build my own self satisfying life, but still I hope and fantasize, and struggle with the realities of a very fulfilling relationship that could potentially be everything I want from a man, but will never rescue me.
The thing is, I could possibly be rescued one day, but when it comes down to it, that isn't what I really want or need. It just feels so appealing because I've lost faith in what I can do for myself. What I want the most is to be stronger, to realize and utilize my own abilities, and someone who loves me enough to want to save me, but knows that I really don't need it.