the whale has returned to the ocean, the horse to the pasture

It has been a strange few years and they've gone by in a daze. I've changed so much and for the first time in my life I don't really know who I am anymore. I feel as lost and aimless as ever. My vices have finally caught up with me. I've experienced many new things. I've loved and been loved in ways I thought I was incapable of. I've grown up a lot. I'm better and I'm worse.
This is all frightening as I really have lost myself along the way, and just generally transitioned into adulthood rather poorly, but I think it's a positive thing. I've actually been willing to give up myself in search of who I'm becoming and need to be. That is a major thing for me, if I've ever been guilty of anything it's been holding on to things for too long. I'm learning to let go, and man, the timing is on the money. I'm right in the midst of a major lesson on that subject.